First off let me apologize for my extended absence from writing anything. But come to think about it I’ve called in longer for regular jobs than I’ve missed writing here…..I missed it. Life does have demands however and I got to me too! How ever I’ll talk about that later okay. Soooo the girl in the blue dress, a kid right! Well yeah in that picture she was and also she was my best girl friend, not girlfriend there is a difference. See my sister and I have a little less than two years difference in our age with her being the younger one. As kids do we all have sleep overs and as everyone knows its AWESOME to have an opposite sex (or same sex…ain’t judging here folks, everyone has thought about it genX and on, oh good god I just thought about grandparents all…..puke…sorry) people over cause there might be a dating pool and bye George that works like gang busters. Katrina (and others) were off limits. Katrina had this cool chick vibe about her, she was unbreakable and yeah kid stuff at 13 seems like nothing like nothing to us as adults but as kids, its is a pretty big deal (oh we all went to catholic school) to us kids. She was over at our house every day, and yes her and my sister were best friends but by default I had become her best guy friend. There was often times my sister wouldn’t want to walk her home and for some reason the girl never wanted to walk home alone she always wanted someone to talk to, she loved to talk. I would always go with her mostly cause I just loved the care free way she talked, the girl was a cool breeze on a hot day I pretty much hung on her every word.
My bed room was the only path way to the bath room so “alone time” was a straight up bitch. I would be watching music videos till the wee hours of the morning and she would have to go to the bathroom and stop and watch to see what I was looking at. Well this was the 80″s so MTV was the rave but I was into the metal stuff, well she had never even heard of the stuff I was watching and started to like it, so she would stop and talk to me about music and then it turned into other stuff. Well after a while I’d just be doing what I do and more and more she would migrate to my room and after awhile we were watching Friday fright night together. My sister would be there in her room and the would hang out together for a while but she would get tired and retire. This cycle went on for a long time….so fast forward a bit, I got a note from her which I wish the note could be the featured picture but it was lost buy my crazy ass ex wife burning my shit (and you will see how crazy that bitch was) but it basically said “I love you..not because your are gonna have a car..um you’re my best friend but I love you and I can’t wait till you can drive” there was stuff in between but I don’t remember what. Then one day I was walking her home and she was telling me about the time she had stopped buy one of our in common friends Scott Day (oh that is his real name btw, piece of shit bring on bitch((meaning him))…Ill bury you) had her over at his house and pulled out his hard dick out and said I’m gonna fuck you. (He tried to rape her) She told this as we were almost parallel to his house minus 300 metes our bank, had the flank. I wanted to kill him but she convinced me not to. I could see the fear in my friends eyes and the me now would have beat his ass, his dads and who ever came my way…but I’m different now so there is a big difference I know poisons now. As teen life goes we all had our good times together and there was many a night Katrina just fell asleep in my bed with me while we watched cheesy horror flicks to the wee hours to the morning but no one ever said anything cause that was just it…we just fell asleep.
The last time I seen her we had a normal night, her and my sister were all head banging to the new record of “Wratch Child America” and had there fun and I could totally here them in the next room. Well hell they came and got it from me matter a fact. Her room was sacred soil so I stayed away. I just did my thing. playing my guitar and watching TV and dreaming to move to NYC and hang out with the “Ramones” one day and she comes in. I switch to Friday fright night and we settle down to watch horrible shows justr like we normally do and before I know it its morning. I have my arms around her legs and she is holding me (opposing bodies) of course nothing happened, as nothing ever did, I didn’t expect it would, I sorta hoped it would play out or maybe it wouldn’t I’d always be her friend………….
11 days after that her family was coming back from a basket ball game and@ 169 and 116 the car she was traveling in was hit by a semi and the car split in half and sent her flying 30 ish feet head first into a bank.. She lived for a day or so but she was already gone. I can’t really say on print the emotions I had at the time…I guess God dam drum brakes on 80’s cars!!!! Her mom was at fault, she went into him (the semi, not him, and god bless you bud I bet you still think about that shit all the time) her dads head was totally chopped off, her mom lived, her little brother wasn’t there and is doing ok to this day. Her mom is dead now, its been alot of years.
My cousins and I were working on a car and our friend Rick had came out of the house the night to tell us about he latest stats…………. she died and he stood in the door way, we all froze (I think they were waiting for my reaction)…..”Well shes dead”…….they pulled the plug…..My god dam buddy was gone. (pause) I say “lets get back to work” My tears clogged the sand paper, my friend was dead………..my best friend,,,,,,,,,and I work!!!!! I shed not one tear at the funeral and everyone else looked like their eyes were bleeding, and me, not one tear in front of anyone. I waited and waited.
School started the next monday and everyone was talking about it (oh by this time I’m in gen pop at public high school by this time I did not put the transition in there) and I say “oh yeah I sorta knew her”….knowing god dam good and well life will never be the same without her and and and and the day drags….I get out of school and drive to the cementary and FUCKING BREAK THE FUCK DOWN, I’m clawing at the fresh dirt ,,,,(don’t have words..) I go there every day after school for months and sit and talk to her about the stuff I’ve watched on TV and whats going on and sometimes I just sit there with her. Till this day way over 20 years I still think of her almost every day….I sorta think she was my “one”, specially being older now and looking back, yeah that’s what romance novels are wrote about. I’m quite sure there would have been a “getto blaster” above my head moment in our lives had death not taken her. Things have a way of forming us into people we are. I truly believe that’s why I went into the military, to protect nations. My sister went into police work to oppress people…..we have a VERY different way of looking at “law enforcement” but that’s getting political and I said I’d never do that…I promised.
So crazy ex. and Katrina link. Crazy drunk bitch is all hung up on my friend of which I’d never even kissed by the way (I told the story once to her folks) She is crying (20 some fucking years later since she has been dead) and saying “I don’t mean anything to you you should have been with her”. Well I’m gonna pull of all the shinny of the chrome and just let you know she was a cop calling bitch. She would get drunk and red and blue lights would show up. A side lesson if they (a chick) call them once it’s gonna happen till they bury you. One of the reasons I need to parlay my way out of this town as fast as mother fucking possible, if she see me and knows I’m in town (which I will blog about),she will come up with something I’ll be in jail for made up shit in two weeks at least, I’d be surprised if I get to the key board to tell you about it! Well I won’t be they will kill me first cause I ain’t did a god dam thing. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!! It is pretty simple really she is doing what she wished she would have done to the first husband of hers but she thinks I must be weak cause I never fought back but I really that makes me the bigger one. OH FUCK NO NOW>>>WELCOME TO FUCKED TOWN NOW MOTHER FUCKER…..Don’t fuck with an AO…that’s all I’ll say
I just about put the Au revoir to Katrina in the same paragraph with the stuff of the evil one. To that I say “Nay Nay”. Hide sight every place, every city,every town, every state, every country, every continent, every sea I’ve crossed she will always be with me and always be with me. Every January 17th I know that day. every 21st I know that day too….It sticks like 911. I really think people really need to stop fucking up dates for me, however I don’t remember a god dam thing as far as dates with the ex so I got that shit going for me which is nice. I didn’t see her when I died (and came back) but I was at the front door after all. Well there was no door….(just go back people to the old blog)…I’m like a god dam cat with my death shit! My humor has been failing basically like a saying I coined “its gonna eat its own ass”. Normal people talk that means its will destroy its own self. ie. eat its own ass. I could put hundreds of examples of that but I’m tired. So tonight since Katrina is a Russian name we shall finish with Russian instead of Spanish but my key board don’t know krelick but I speak Russian so I will sound it out OKAY (like ya got a choice) now this is straight off my head too, for real people….da s vee dan ya – da vouska – ya la bule vee – da s vee da nee ya. so if a Rooskie reads this it says…..(Its been years since I’ve used Russian) “good by young woman I love you (I will never see you again) give me a break you guys (Russians) haven’t shot at me in a while 😉
ahhhh fuck my editor is gonna love this ….that’s me, but serious me:-(
****editors note: you are getting better I had to add more than I erased, you sound less crazy. There was some structure issues but it does sorta get to the point, sorta like going from LGA but stopping in Branson to get to LAX…but fuck you I didn’t sign up for this shit it’s your baby.
(That was my internal stuff I was just sharing I cried a lot writing that so that was to help laugh…oh that Russian was straight out of my head from YEARS the fuck ago…so thank you) buneo nochous ….YAY YAY