So God dam me

so I rode the bus today and I was super stoked to go to Kansas soil…Free land, I even texted a friend how excited I was. Ya know I’ m so dam broken my readers are expanding like crazy but I only seed to find solace with a Jamican dude at the bus station that was high as fuck saying…it’s gonna be ok. Yeah I know Bob Marley but what about today…it wasn’t him but yeah dead ringer. I also meet this dude selling his bus tickets for the simple reason he had no way to work in the morning and just wanted to get to work the next day. Side story on this guy he was reserves (Army) I could tell by the garb he played foot ball for the Army and got his knee hurt….now he is at a bus stop just trying to get to work. Yeah everyone has a hard story but I could see in his eyes he was for real. I had 2.75 on me, suchs is life. I told the dude if I ever do well I’ll be down there every day helping out people. Just to pay it back.

Umm I did have the whole “FUCK IT I’M GONNA CHECK OUT” just to be honest, such is mental illness, there wasn’t a mother fucker around it was on me, this blog and nothing mattered, I talked myself off the ledge cause I though “one more day” Most people think I’m over the top and just don’t wanna talk to me and if i had that one person ….just one out of 6 billion that would talk to me life would be soo much better…sounds sorta far fetched to me folks…”why don’t this swave ass mother fucker have anyone to talk to….Um my sister was here today and didn’t say a word…that hurt! I really don’t know what people want out of me, I sorta guess being a ….well “tech” make me weird. I’m Jonny on the film of “sum of all fears” but not him the real version. So what is one to do now, life is empty. So do you remember the first time you had to put on a chemical attack suit (read up NSA bitches this will flag you asses) but It sucked a bag of dicks, those suits were so hot. The flight deck was already 150 and we had the suits on (yay me) ……….I’m not feeling this shit go on to a bit more important stuff (oh yeah I have a movie playing in the back ground and they ar speaking Russian….I know every word they are saying…cool huh…not that God dam dumb) So I’m walking around and is see a sign saying “for rent” oh mother fucker I need my own place sooo bad…It’s gonna be nude “safety dance 24 7” well that should read “safety dance” and I’d be dancing 24 7 but this guy that has this place to rent needs a hella lot of work done. I talked to the guy and made a deal…well sorta, but hte guy asked if I had workers. As I was walking home I did relize ….Um Yeah I do have alot of workers..the people at the bus stop. Normally I’m much more silly when I post but god dam me I’ve fought and fought and I need a break. If I had the money tonight to go to Yonkers life would change but for now it’s just going through hell with gasoline drawers on…I fucking hope to hell I’ll make it it….fucking Glochester MA…fuck some where. The world is slowly turing me back to a normal person, and I’m not digging it. Damit I just wanna go home

Published by drewstram

This is my first time writing a blog, really the first time writing anything public (sure it shows...don't be so judgeie, jezz). I'm 43 and should be divorced in about a month, haven't heard nor seen her in well over a year so I sorta forget I'm still married. I'm basically at a crossroads in my life. Not like Ralph Machio in the movie 'Crossroads", think a lot less deals with the devil, guitars, and gravel roads, actually nothing like that. This is gonna be either a epic story of a come back or one great big train wreck. Lots of stories to tell and I hope some are entertaining. Maybe it will be an example of what not to do with your spare time. Thanks for stopping by.

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