Shark poop

Yeah I know the image isn’t even of the water so you maybe be thinking “where is this crazy shit gonna go”. Well lets start at the first thing cause normal F’ing people do that and I sorta bet this is gonna have a “call back”! Yeah look somebody has researched a little on proper writing and terms and shit. (sure ya can’t tell yet though, give it time folks, I might be a rad ass writer one day…doubt it, but fuck it….I tried) One thing that distracts the piss out of me is constantly messing with music selection…I put it on rando so I should be a bit more focused. See my ears ring like a bitch from being around explosions and fight jets so silence is hell for me. So Shark poop, this goes into a theory of mine. I hear (specially in the mid west) I’d never go out in the ocean cause there are too many sharks. I object and say “hey asshole you got a better chance of getting hit by lightning than to get ate by a shark”. Then I get “well i can just go inside”. Well these statements are generally brought to you by the same people that can’t take a piss with out getting it on the front of their pants, so the chances of them being smart enough to get out of a thunder storm are rather low. The way I see it is if “I” happen to get ate by a shark that would place me in an ocean, which would mean I’m more than likely some where sorta cool. If I’m in this place I’m probably doing something pretty cool like fun or working in said ocean, and my GOAL is to get to such a place….so my little dreams had sorta came true right! So if there is a rare as shit chance Mr. Sharky wants to make me a snack at the very least I’m not laying in some fucking hospital yellow as piss from a failed liver or some shit. Like I said in a blog post before that I almost died from literally SHIT. Screw that give me the freaking shark, besides what sounds better at the funeral (by the way I want ice all around me like I’m in a big fucking cooler and cold beer and wine in the casket with me, that would be sooo bitchen, and people have to drink the beers too) but a dude saying “yeah it tore the shit out of him” not “oh he went peacefully and people were comforting him” fuck that I’m going out screaming and kicking. Like if they (terrorist) ever tried to cut my head of for a propaganda film, oh hell no I’m going straight ZOMBIE mode on their asses with biting and shit, throwing shit (actual turds) they would never get a good shot with the camera.

Now this stuff is more like it huh! The picture was from what used to be a farm field and a house, barn, and other farmy sorta stuff, the river destroyed it. I have had a liking for taking pictures most my life and have had lost a hell of a lot of pictures too. Sad really I had some amazing things. Like check this out, when I was in Israel me and my buddy from Charlotte (don’t know if I told you about him yet….probably just thought it, hell I’ll have to go look) but we went on this archaeological dig up by the Syrian border. It was also one of the “big deal” spots during the seven day war. As in there were 200 Syrian tanks coming into Israel border and they only had 20 tanks. Well they engaged and at the end of the battle there were 2 Israeli tanks still running (but majorly fucked up, like tracks missing and shit) and all the Syrian tanks were destroyed. I had pictures of all that (not the tanks just the area) , oh and like the German people that were running the dig, my buddy smashing a very large stone with a sledge hammer as a German archaeologist lady was running up to him shouting “NINE, NINE, NINE and chunks of the rock hitting her, cause apparently Terry couldn’t speak “no” in German and Terry thought Jesus must of hid something in a metamorphic stone….He (Jesus not Terry, although he did smash the shit out of that stone, wasn’t hiding “clues” in solid rock. 2000 years wasn’t shit to that rock). All my pictures of Europe, Asia, and Africa are gone, old pictures of girl friends….Rebecca the one I miss the most, the one that got away, adventures all over this world. My first time flying a airplane! That was bad ass, I’d never even been in a plane before and they let me fly it, well I paid to fly it. The second time I flew I had 5 C-130 Air force aircraft at my same altitude, They were up there just playing around and so was I. We all had the same radio frequency going so I could hear their chatter and them mine. Them: “Needing advised on the Tomahawk traffic” my instructor dude was like “um they are talking to you”. Mother fucker, talk about feeling like somebody, I was flying with the Air force planes, just right outside my window it was an awesome sight to see. Oh a part missing but as I was growing up I was obsessed with flying, I probably could have flown at 12 years old. I studied it IN DEPTH, so when I finally got the chance I looked like I sorta knew what I was doing. If you don’t know what those are the C-130s they have 4 engines and are BIG MOTHERS. Third time I flew I jumped out of it parachuting. Mind you I had to work 3 jobs and go to school to afford any of this stuff. Yeah my friends would go out and I’d be building something or working on my car or screwing around with my kayak. Yes I had a kayak also but not fancy in “wow a Kayak” no more like it was screwed to a wall in a restaurant and was busted to shit and I had to learn fiberglass and gel coat repairs to get it to float sorta “Wow a kayak”….. By now it should be pretty plain to see I was a broke mother fucker!

It’s pretty amazing how one subject can lead into so many more. This little blog is a way of getting it all out…..one day. Dam I started a new paragraph and went blank…..shit..The picture stuff is petered out for now. Now earlier I was working on this really hard car repair the music was on rando mode and this song came on that totally reminded me of my other friend, Lanny. That’s not a proper name so I can use that, besides he wouldn’t sue me. This guy was one of the toughest sons-of-a-bitches I’ve ever meet. Mostly in the his *give-a-fuck* is broken. This dude would try and fight ANYONE and no matter how many there were. Like groups of French, British, Spanish soldiers and he expected me to back that shit up. I believe in the *can do* sorta attitude but 8 to 2 isn’t good odds. I had to stop him one day cause he had like 12 marines ready to beat his (and by default) my ass too, and it was over some stupid stuff that I can’t even remember. Well I though I’d bring these two cats into the stories cause they will reappear now and then. Son-of-a-bitch I didn’t do the call back, oh well ya can’t win them all, I wasn’t really trying to I just sorta thought it would happen. Oh I was reading about this one writer guy and his day (some dude that wrote something popular, I don’t care) but he said he can take an entire day to write just one line. WTF is that bitch writing……well he is getting paid for his though.(I laugh but sorta cry a bit too) Ve a ser casa de tiburon si quieres. Thanks again…..now I have to edit this crap

Ps. Edit done….I think I’m getting a bit better but you guys don’t see the first bit of jumbled non sense….I swear I’m gonna fire this guy!

Published by drewstram

This is my first time writing a blog, really the first time writing anything public (sure it shows...don't be so judgeie, jezz). I'm 43 and should be divorced in about a month, haven't heard nor seen her in well over a year so I sorta forget I'm still married. I'm basically at a crossroads in my life. Not like Ralph Machio in the movie 'Crossroads", think a lot less deals with the devil, guitars, and gravel roads, actually nothing like that. This is gonna be either a epic story of a come back or one great big train wreck. Lots of stories to tell and I hope some are entertaining. Maybe it will be an example of what not to do with your spare time. Thanks for stopping by.

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