Taking my eye off the prize!! Okay after I wrote this it has nothing to do with the title, sorry I got spacey again (there is a bloody ass in the story)

(Raven don’t read this one) I try to have some what of an image to start off my nonsensical ramblings and this sorta stuck. that being notwithstanding I must state one thing that has subconsciously stopped me from writing over the weekend. I have been very adamant about trying to stay off of social media, however that is pretty hard when you have a blog…matter a fact that’s pretty much the opposite of staying off social media. That’s more like a big F’ING flag screaming “HERE I AM MOTHER FUCKERS” This basically has to do with the ex (and if you are her…go the F away) and this is MY little world of changing EVERYTHING to a new life and really who wants the enemy to know your every move. I know what one might think, something like “well screw her” exact a mundo senior but I don’t want a freaking Nancy Carington ice skating style fiasco when the poor girl was ready to go to the Olympics and that white trash chick had her legs bashed by another piece of white trash. To sum up the concerns I have I don’t wanna get ready to move to my ocean destination, starting up the new chapter and it get trashed cause someone is vindictive. I don’t think that’s really a unreasonable thought due to the fact a hella lot of……um lets just say drama comes from that camp. Enough of that, there is an old social media account so “the camp” would be looking for activity there. Boring writing right??? Sorry I’ll edit my home page to say something like “witch stay out” maybe bring in a B….who knows.

Again sorry about that! Further more a stoppage of my writing is the old saying “all work and no play make a fun boy dull” or something like that, I’m not sure but I digress. The picture was taken when my employer sent me to Puerto Rico for some training for 2 weeks. First off it was me giving the training not getting the training, secondly every MF’er speaks Spanish except one dude, Junior was his name. I’m not sure what jr. was short for he was just jr. I don’t know everything people. Thirdly…uh Puerto Rico for two weeks, all expenses paid, fucking sign me up. I asked my boss guy Ed at the time “why me” and he said I had done so well with the engineers when he sent me to Virginia to the GE engineering centre to learn these new drive systems inside and out(I know it wants me to spell check that center word but I don’t care, I also like to spell color colour too…stop being all judgie!! and no I’m not Canadian either AYE) that I was the guy that could train them so they could go around to the other islands (In the dam Caribbean) and install the new drive systems on the lifts. Of course I had a counter offer that I!!!!!! could go all around the Caribbean after I was done in Puerto Rico and install all the new systems but all I got on that was a hard “NO” Our engineering department was already allocated about a million bucks (I think) and we were not gonna spend a dime more. One may think “wow this guy is all like hanging around engineers and doing all this important shit” and out of 900 or so people I was chose to do these things but honestly I do know my shit but it was more the rapport I have with people that has allowed me to do a lot of wicked cool stuff! Problem is now I don’t have a wicked cool job anymore and it just depresses the hell out of me, along with a litany of other things but I ain’t gonna go into that anymore.

The plane ride down there was a big freaking party. It was Pre 911 so air travel was more fun, once we were at altitude everybody was wandering around having drinks and singing, I think at one time the pilots just chucked the plane on auto pilot and came back for cocktails and partied it up. I didn’t care I’m not the FFA (ha ha had to leave that! future farmers of America, I totally meant the FAA) I had never been in the tropics (on land). My old home, the ship crossed through the tropics but they wouldn’t pull over the F”ING boat. We were like 13 mile from Bermuda and we could clearly see the son of a bitch and we were all like “hey don’t we need gas or something…PULL OVER MF’ers” but nooooo, we had a schedule…..Dicks!. Anyway the country was breath taking, all the white cap ocean waves washing in and the pure deep blue sea, an undescribable blue. sand beaches everywhere you looked. Way better, well different than overseas, it was amazing too! It was paradise! My hotel view was right on the ocean and also had a casino on the bottom floor nothing more distinguishing. I was left to my own whims the rest of the day after landing around 4 pm. Of course I went out and ended up hanging out with a couple Scottish dudes that I ran into. Now I’d been around English people before and they ummm are not Scottish that’s for certain. The evening was a great night of conversations about world travels and many cocktails along with some hand stands on the pool tables, thank god the one dude in the kelt wore underware, which I’m pretty sure was the reasoning behind the handstands on the pool tables. Don’t know, long time ago. The following day I was picked up by jr. and taken to the people I’d be working with for 2 weeks. Sparing the boring tech shit it was quite the challenging work week. Not only did I train those guys I also went on field calls and helped with repairs all over the island and it’s a BIG F’ING island. The weekend comes up so I ask the guys where a nice club by the beach would be so I could see the ocean. Well I got the directions (half english half spanish) and venture over there after work. Sure enough the spot had a great deck area there right by the waves and seemed to be a pretty fancy place. I did notice something strange however. Standing there thinking I notice to my right I had this guy sorta slowly meandering his way down the rail just creepy like staring at me. I turn around to see what I had missed behind me and all the couples were, guy couple, guy couple, guy couple, girl couple, I sorta peek into where the music is coming from and there are all these dudes in there dancing. I look down to the ground and shake my head and laugh, those fucking guys back at the shop had sent me to a gay bar. I look back to the ocean and just laugh thinking I bet those guys were laughing their asses off when they came up with that plan. Normally when I tell this story in person I say “well I had 12 more beers and got the hell out of there, and those guys are pretty good little dancers” however writing it doesn’t yield comic timing so I did finish up the beer and scatted. Ol’ boy did finally make his way down however, remember the guy from the rail, yeah he said something in Spanish and I “didn’t abla” but I think he wanted to by me a drink, so I guess I’m like guy to guy hot….not my thing but nice to know I guess. Dudes will buy me drinks, but I don’t wanna be a tease, and I don’t wanna put out!!!! The night progress and I found myself at some crazy ass bubble rave complete with spinning glow sticks and techno music. I always find myself at the weirdest shit. Like one time in NYC it was fleet week right and military ships from all over the world come into the harbor to celebrate. They (who ever puts on such things, I don’t know who paid for this) had a free beer and cocktail shindig at the aircraft carrier Intrepid for all us military people. I was hanging out with my South Carolina buddies till this southern bell started puking into the Hudson and I decided it was time to mingle else wheres. Turns out myself and three dudes from Denmark made friends and decided to get the hell out of there and to embark on an adventure into the underworld of Manhattan. After getting a taxi driver (whom spoke Russian which I knew a very little) to find this place I had heard about we found ourselves in this crazy ass S&M sex dungeon. Yup…..a sex dungeon! SO we sit there at the bar thing looking around at people having sex in booths, dudes tied up with just their junk hanging out, dudes naked walking around wacking it. The um lady behind the bar was this great big gal all dressed in black vinyl with goobbs of her flowing out trying to escape. She asked us the basic questions like what we were into blah blah blah. Ya know like bondage, feet, all anal, normal porn sorta shit. I tell her, probably in a very skeptical way that we were just checking out what the place was all about. Now mind you we are all in uniform too! Yeah we stand out one could say. As we are chatting it up this Willie Nelson looking cat starts putting on this show for us with his “bitch”, his words and hers not mine. So Willie takes his “bitch’s” mini skirt to her knees and gets out this big ass candle and begins melting hot wax all over this amazingly beautiful woman’s ass. The dam flame is like a half inch from her skin, you could SMELL it for shit sakes, the skin burning I mean. He proceeds to pull a GIANT ASS knife (which is illegal as shit in NYC) out of his back pack and shaves of the candle wax off her ass then smacks the hell out of the waxed area. The girl is into this mind you! He finishes up saying “this bitch will do anything I want”, and I ask him “have you ever thought of a dinner and a movie JEZZ!” They go back to their thing and this very pretty and petite girl comes up to me and asks (all spunky too, like its a fucking prom or some shit and she is asking me to dance) “hey can I spank you”. Me: what! Her: can I spank you, well not here…. in back. Me: why in the back whats in the back. (I take a drink) Her: in one of the jail cells in back. (I spit out said drink) Me: what. Her: yeah we have jail cells in back, come on it will be fun! I had to love her spirit and enthusiasm, like a fucking cheer leader, a very hot dressed in leather holding a whip cheerleader, this chick had no time for fucking palm palms, nope just whips and cuffs. I do a lot of shit for the comic value and mother fucker it don’t get better than this soooo Me: ummm sure. We get to the back and sure as shit there are like six cells back there and of course more than half the people came along to see the show too. Her: okay grab the bars and stick out your ass. Me: Okay, then what? Her: I whip you and you say “thank you may I have another”. (That ain’t gonna happen BTW but she don’t know that yet.) She goes to pull my pants all the way down. Me: OH HELL NO I’m not gonna have my junk hanging out. Her: okay fine I’ll just expose your butt (pulls back up to the bottom of booty) you ready? Me: yeah. Then WHAP she swings with the whip and hits my ass. Her: say it! Me: no I don’t have to! Her: yes you do. Hits me like 4 more times. Her: say it! Me: NO you ain’t bad! WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP harder and harder. Its starting to hurt now but I refuse to give in to her demands. Her: SAY IT!! Me: no you ain’t bad you ain’t shit! Now she proceeds to whip the hell out of my poor butt. She screams: SAY IT SAY IT NOW!! The Denmark dudes are cheering me on the whole time, like we got some sorta fucked up NATO alliance thing going on at this point. Like all the allied forces (out numbered horribly mind you) that night was a team, one to be reckoned with and I was the commander, us against the crazy ass sex dungeon people. I can tell my ass is probably bleeding at this point but the battle rages. I look over at her and I see like rage in this girls face ass she strikes me over and over, screaming “SAY IT” One of the dungeon guys says “just say it” Me: FUCK NO! she ain’t bad she ain’t shit!! Then fucking Willie Nelson (not the real Willie Nelson but the dude from earlier, ((but wouldn’t that make the story even more kick ass))) pulls his special whip out for her to use on me and this mother fucker is bigger (the whip) and has metal balls on the end of it, ya know the part that hits you!! Her: (spuncky as fuck, just like her team got a touch down) thanks this should do the trick. NOW ARE YOU GONNA LISTEN TO ME. (pulling my hair, ((I think she had daddy issues)) The first hit made my legs buckle, as I’m pulling myself up I’m saying with cracking resolve with a almost uncomfortable laugh: you ain’t bad…you ain’t shit. WHAAAAAP mother fucker, the whip went sending me to the ground to my knees. Her screaming: SAY IT!!!! Now we are getting into “Roots” mini series territory with this stuff I’m getting the piss beat out of me at this point. I pull myself up: (trying to catch breath saying softly) you ain’t bad you ain’t shit. Then with all her cheerleader force, WHHHHHHAAAAAAAPPPPah! Her: SAY IT MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!! The finial blow for the hero……Me: (almost a whisper) thank you may I have another…..but please no more pleeeeeeease, I can’t take anymore. The whole place had come back to see our show by this time and gave her a big cheer for “breaking” me. She switches gears and gets really nice and helps me up and asks me if I’m okay, grabs a towel for me to clean THE FUCKING BLOOD off my ass and we walk back to the little bar area. Me and the abusive cheerleader chat for like and hour or so, turns out she was a pretty cool chick, her beating people was just a “hobby” (never seen any accessories for that sorta thing at hobby lobby) she had like a regular job and a normal life other than beating people I mean. She said to look her up when I was in NYC again and we would hang out so I got her number. Now here is the thing, this girl who’s hobby is that tells me that {I} am the oddest person she has ever meet. Put that into perspective here, look who she is around ALL THE F’ING time and what she does for fun and I’m the weird one, oh and no one has ever even came close to getting that kinda beating in there. You would think I’d get like a fucking T shirt or something for that, maybe they didn’t think to rank the beatings until then. They probably had a sex dungeon meeting after that and I missed out on the T shirt. Dicks! Well my friends see me the next day struggling to walk and ask “what the hell happened to you”, me: you ain’t gonna believe this shit. I show them my ass………”HOLY SHIT” I tell them the story.

This was a bit different from what I normally write but it is totally true, of course there are no names and my ass is healed. Like I was saying before about the social media stuff, umm I’m gonna have a new girl friend in the future and she is gonna discover this blog, its dam near a resume of “reasons why I don’t wanna date this guy” I honestly don’t wanna stop writing it, its sorta my thing. Totally takes away any hiding of any info though and as you can tell my normal favorite ladies are kinda fucked up in the first place…it will be okay. Probably ain’t gonna get a church gal, that’s for dam sure. OH and there was no sex sorta pleasure from that whole whipping thing, but it was DAM FUNNY!!! Good life stories don’t come from sitting on the couch. Dios nos ayuda a todos…thank you again!

Published by drewstram

This is my first time writing a blog, really the first time writing anything public (sure it shows...don't be so judgeie, jezz). I'm 43 and should be divorced in about a month, haven't heard nor seen her in well over a year so I sorta forget I'm still married. I'm basically at a crossroads in my life. Not like Ralph Machio in the movie 'Crossroads", think a lot less deals with the devil, guitars, and gravel roads, actually nothing like that. This is gonna be either a epic story of a come back or one great big train wreck. Lots of stories to tell and I hope some are entertaining. Maybe it will be an example of what not to do with your spare time. Thanks for stopping by.

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