Tunnel to Nowhere

See I said I’d be back and my hair looks freaking AWESOME if you were woundering!!! Hell I want some woman to hang out with and share scruntchies with and play with each others hair. Sorta a joke there but I did all sorts of stuff with my ex wife’s hair. Being I brought that up I may as well air that dirty laundry, its been long enough now. You know how and even you don’t think it is happening but a person absorbs another persons persona. Fight it as you may, normally it happens. To make it simple she was my drinking buddy, and that’s all we ever did and that’s really not a healthy relationship, before long trouble will come. Before her I was with someone that I/we pretty much had our own thing going on. I had my thing and so did she. I was always running, biking, swimming ya know triathlon stuff and I competed in races all the time, I’d go to friends houses and hang out with them. That’s how I kept my sanity and “my thing” and not that I needed “my own thing” but I’ve always been super hyper and busy my whole life and I can’t just sit on a sofa….unless I’m tranquilized! AH now you can see how I feel into the drinking buddy thing. After a while that’s all me and the ex ever did. I’m not gonna disfame her in anyway cause I’m not here to bash, I went right along with it and pretty soon several years had passed by and it’s over with now. Well that’s not an issue with me now it would be seriously noticeable in my writing cause I REALLY wouldn’t make any sense, way worse than this (I know you are saying “no way it could get any worse” and yes it can) My wandering off the point is very normal, that’s just my awesomeness. I don’t feel that right now but you can’t see me and I had a big smile when I wrote that. See I did it again….the picture…okay that is a picture from under the Niagara falls that I took years ago. Here is another fact and another clear illustration of how lonely my life was. Ummm I’ve been there like 11 times…..all by my F’ING self. Only once have I been there with other people. Like when I lived in Vermont I’d stop by Texas falls of Smugglers notch and climb boulders on my way to Canada, all by my self. I’ve been to 43 of the 50 states and most of them all by myself. I got F’ING rim rocked in Colorado and had no one to almost freaking die with for gods sake. I do get the argument that “why would I wanna go do something that I could get hurt doing” well now that isn’t living I think but most people say “nay nay” to that which is very short sighted on their part. However being on that mountain in Colorado all alone and I’m looking at goat bones and cougar tracks and dried fucking blood all over and there is no dam way off that mountain, there are times I do question my own judgement! I did get down btw which I thinks pretty much speaks for itself cause I’m typing this. DUH. I had to do a very risky climb and had to go like miles out of my way to get down, and the cougar did attack me but I won the fight and I had cougar meat (which tastes a lot like cat btw) for weeks. I made up the fighting the cougar part, but I totally had my TT33 chambered just in case. But drew whats a TT33, you’re leaving out stuff again, that’s just poor writing you dick! You’re right and sorry, it’s a soviet design pistol that shoots a 7.62 bullet (thats .308 to you and me) X 25mm cartridge. I chose such thing and cause it’s necked down and ballistically it’s a gorilla compared to other hand gun rounds and has much greater distance than other rounds. Now the rim rock story has been covered which is nice! The whole day was a wicked cool kick ass adventure. Like there was a river crossing that had a steel cable going across and I had my pulley thing with me, so I hooked on and took the cable across the rushing white river. All sorts of stuff! There has been all sorts of stuff like that in the past and I’ve been hoping to find someone that enjoys such things. I was hoping that hippie chick I had meet was gonna be down for such adventures. I really had the vibe from here she was pretty much down for anything (this was like two years ago, I’m jumping again). One thing cool about her is she said “rad” all the freaking time, total California chick, wicked great slang, I loved talking to her. She wound up going to north Cali to work on a pot farm the last time I talked to her. I chatted with her all the time on the phone then had my car wreck and lost my phone and had no way of finding her again. I wasn’t in good mental shape anyhow to get in any kind of relationship but she wasn’t the classic relationship sorta gal. My plan was to get my house sold and head to New Hampshire to live and she was gonna come hang out. Yeah I know “seriously dude another free spirit chick” what can I say she was cool as a cucumber, and beautiful as can be, hairy arm pits and all. Not like she had Art Garfunkel in a head lock kinda hairy just a tiny patch, like a quick swipe of a razor would wack it off. The first time I seen that honestly I sorta though it was sexy, but it was on the hippie chick though so it would be odd if there wasn’t hair there i guess, I suspect if it had been anyone else it would have been odd……… Really I’d be shocked if anyone found any interest in these ramblings, the way I see it is this key board is my tiny little psychologist and I also get someone to talk to even if it is just the wind. I feel better than when I started and with all the vile on the internet at least these are “stories of a lonely guy”. I just scrolled back to see if there was a point to all this and there really wasn’t one……OH SNAP yes there was…ummm “the tunnel to no where” the F’ING title, DUH I’m a dumb ass! The tunnel even though it just drops off to a giant ass water fall that will totally drown the shit out of you, on the other side of that water is one of the most beautiful waterfalls in the world. So it looks like nothing from one angle but on the other side it’s simply breath taking. Maybe that’s how I seem on one side but on the other side there is something much much greater. Right now I don’t see it but I know its there….. Thank You so much if you suffered the fools writing again, I’d say I’m not doing this for my health but I’d be lying but I hope you get a kick out of it. Mis dias se feliz…..good night. Keep up the good fight

Published by drewstram

This is my first time writing a blog, really the first time writing anything public (sure it shows...don't be so judgeie, jezz). I'm 43 and should be divorced in about a month, haven't heard nor seen her in well over a year so I sorta forget I'm still married. I'm basically at a crossroads in my life. Not like Ralph Machio in the movie 'Crossroads", think a lot less deals with the devil, guitars, and gravel roads, actually nothing like that. This is gonna be either a epic story of a come back or one great big train wreck. Lots of stories to tell and I hope some are entertaining. Maybe it will be an example of what not to do with your spare time. Thanks for stopping by.

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