I came across this old picture which I’m not even sure what year it was from, or what it tasted like, not sure if it had booze in it….would be a shame if it didn’t. It was on a little vacation from younger years but really I have no idea, hummm must of had a lot of booze. I’ll be dammed if there hasn’t been anything funny to write about,life has become very mundane and uneventful. I think the sun died, the dam thing hasn’t been around in like 11 days. Looking at various dating web sights and honestly its pretty much the same stuff, very pretty ladies but everything feels “SSDD” same shit different day. Why can’t I get kidnapped buy Colombian drug lords to get a little adventure in my life. Maybe I’d get away and run into Shakira there in Colombia and she would be like “oh your so freaking awesome, you stay with me and we salsa (dance) all the time and make the lovin, I keep you forever….here is your speedo, you clean pool for me, I watch”. Yeah that ain’t gonna happen but if it did I’d have to drop about 7 pounds, but it would be in Colombia so I guess my diet would be mostly monkeys and such so that would be pretty easy to lose weight. Oh shit you all I just totally googled monkey meat and I’ll be dipped in gopher shit, it totally list monkey meat nutritional facts and its sorta good for you. Its sorta like the buffalo of the jungle trees. Sooooo if that did happen I guess food would be covered. I do remember a story about Shikira, it came from a radio show I listen to and this info is like years old. Supposably when she gets around a lot of food she will eat non stop, as though if she can’t help herself. Rumor has it when the crew would get mad at her they would leave a bunch of food around before a concert and she would freaking pig out and would be so stuffed she could barely go on stage and preform. Not sure if that’s true or not but honestly I would totally share my monkey sandwiches with her any time. Shikira if you read this I’d love you no matter what, hit me up! South America isn’t a continent I’ve been to as of yet, on day I will have my 30 some foot sail boat and plan on going there. That’s one of my big plans in the future is to have just enough money to invest and have at least enough to get by on and float around Caribbean and ummmmm………. I guess do sailboat stuff. I suspect just getting to that point in my life is probably the adventure, once I get there I’ll probably be like “now WTF?”. I really wasn’t sure if the period should follow the quotation mark, I sorta suck at writing I think, maybe I’m a f’ing genius. I had to chuckel a bit, I have to talk into my phone all the time to check spelling. Unless I just make up woulds which happens more than not. Like “sons of a bitches” not made up words mind you but there is an extra plural in there which indicates “A LOT of sons of a bitches”. I write the way I think and the way I talk, which I’m told is not the “proper” way to write, but to that I say “nay nay”. This is my little web sight/world, go get your own and be all judgeie on it. Anything goes on this–well within reason of course. Negativity rules everyone’s day most of the time and I don’t write anything negative. Racism, bitching, just being mean happens just too much. Politics-right-left-center-gang neck tattoos, there will be none of that here. Really the whole thing is sorta pointless (my blog), but it makes me laugh and every time I put new stuff on here. I often think “don’t I have anything better to do with my time?” and the answer is “YES” but F it. People need an outlet to get them through the day. Most people have_____oh ya know people to talk to…..me F no, so I gots me this web sight (I meant to write “gots” btw cause its all cool and shit), oh yeah the saying “and shit”. Now there are some words that are just tossed like a sack full of kittens at the end of sentences which could mean ANY FUCKING THING. Like take this “shit” for example….some dude, “hey man I ain’t seen you in a while, what ya been doing”…other dude, “ah just work and shit”. That could mean anything for god’s sake. Like “yeah I’ve been going to work and when I get home I’m conjuring up the dead in the basement, and we jam out to Cannibal Corpse and have a mosh pit while juggling puppies”. See it’s very vague, but that sorta sounds like a “cat” (person) I could hang out with maybe? Who knows, never been asked to go to such things, I wounder what one wears for such things….hummm?? Aaaaaanyhow that’s gonna be it for today, thanks if you read this and I hope it didn’t get you dumber. Oh SNAP! just totally thought of something funny. I had came up with this and wrote it down, but it stated “I really like having friends, but I must contemplate a persons judgement if they seriously what to hang out with me, really they could probably do so much better and they actually listen to me too so are they crazy….should I call the cops or scurry off as fast as I can. What exactly are they getting out of this. This dude or chick is odd. Hummmm I better keep my eye on them, I’m totally gonna wake up chained to a wall or some shit (there is the “some shit” thing again!!! see it!!) in a musty basement with rats chewing on me, they are for sure gonna steal something” I’ve been married twice now and I find I must meter out my personality slowly cause if I go all in they are like “HOLY SHIT this dude is crazy”, now watch I’ll meet some lady and I’ll think I’m all fancy and mention I have a blog and she will read it and BAMMMM she gone faster than a striped ass ape (legend has it they are fast) However it would be sorta like pulling off a band aid too, just get it over with. Maybe it will make me interesting. BTW I have tried stand up comedy before, like three times, it was quite fun. First time of course I sucked, second time went fan-fucking-tastic and the third time, oh holy hell, I was out gunned, I was the poor little retatred piglet that gets stuck with the shriveled up tit. Before I went on all the really funny people had already went up and there was a huge audience to boot. Normally I don’t get nervous but it was totally like going on after George Carlin or someone famous. I was like “really are you f’ing kidding me here” so I sucked. I’m gonna do it again one of these days, specially now, my “give a fuck” is waaaaaaay broke nowadays. Dios te apresure! it’s been a pleasure!
Published by drewstram
This is my first time writing a blog, really the first time writing anything public (sure it shows...don't be so judgeie, jezz). I'm 43 and should be divorced in about a month, haven't heard nor seen her in well over a year so I sorta forget I'm still married. I'm basically at a crossroads in my life. Not like Ralph Machio in the movie 'Crossroads", think a lot less deals with the devil, guitars, and gravel roads, actually nothing like that. This is gonna be either a epic story of a come back or one great big train wreck. Lots of stories to tell and I hope some are entertaining. Maybe it will be an example of what not to do with your spare time. Thanks for stopping by. View more posts