Didn’t know what I was getting into when I started this up….wow I’m dumb, just basically tech done. I can pick someones nose with a backhoe and I’ve rebuilt more engines than most people have seen! But that was the old me and as you can tell by the intro that’s not what this is about. I had the awful time to be …..ah hum…sorta stuck in my own head and well shit I’m probably still delusional for it. I wrote a book which is not published or anything but I did spend a lot of time on it. I had some people read some sections of it and they said I was pretty funny and I should also write about all the crazy stuff I’ve done and odd stuff I say. I’m a quite broken dude but damit i still have a sunny disposition and that drive that keeps going when most people would just call it quits, staple a bloody steak to their face and stick it in a shark tank. But oh no not I to that I say “nay”.
My last place I way staying (the “p” word) I had everyone convinced I was a foot model and they could beat the hell out of my face if the wanted to but for god sake DON’T HURT THE FEET those are my money makers! Now ya wanna talk about something that will TOTALLY distract someone while they are thinking about rearranging your face is to beg mercy for your feet. It worked. I did get discovered that I was not really a foot model cause I had told someone I though was a friend that it wasn’t true. There are better stories ahead of that, however there for a brief time in my life I was a foot model!!! At least a fake one. Now I got “I got a web sight bitchs” to add to the pile. Where I was staying I had to totally laugh, for one it used to be a school for wayward girls (which I though if I was in high school would be freaking HOT) but the cafateria there was almost just like the one in the “Breakfast club” but to my disappointment no zany fun stuff ever happened there. I was the butcher guy in there for awhile and it did have some funny moments. I was isolated in a room all by myself with all the sharp stuff and I’d be cutting meat and eventually someone would come to check on me. The encounters would go sorta like this …….Chick….”what are you doing in here, you almost done” ME…..”NO, now leave me be I’m building a wall of meat, a meat wall, now go!” so I’d have this perfect small wall of meat I was working on as I sliced it. Chick…why dont you just put it in the pan” Me……”Damit can’t you see I’m building a wall of meat, now leave I’m creating something!” Chick…..”you’re weird”. I then throw a piece of meat at the door as it closes and it sticks to the door. Odd people don’t get bothered by normal people too much if they practice odd behavior, so if you don’t want bothered just do weird stuff. That’s the lesson from that, a wall of meat can keep out unwanted people. See I totally have like a philosopher thing going, which is freaking rad. And yes I used the word “rad” I’m bring that shit back, the 80’s f’ing ruled!!!
I guess blogs are like reality TV for readers, thats one way to look at this. OH crap on a cracker I totally thought about a bitch’en ass idea I had at one time for a reality show and I have no freaking clue why the people I sent the “pitch” to didn’t produce it. Here it goes go get you a new glass of chardonnay for this one this is great (better not be a pinot for this story UHHHHH). Ok the idea was to get an older truck and put a set of floats like this big freaking half pontoon half truck thing and drive/float the thing around the world. The floats would be removable and when me and my “troat” mate (Troat is half truck half boat word…get it) got to land we could simple put them in the trailer that also had floats on it, and a shit load of fuel, food ect.. and drive through the country having adventures. I told my friend about the idea and he said “by adventures you really mean pubs right” and I was like well probably but sorta yeah you’re getting it. See the beauty of it would totally be people would totally tune into the show to see “I bet the dumb asses die this week for sure”. That would be the catcher, but to that I say nay nay I had all sorts of ways to combat the heavy seas. I had the idea of counter weigh lowered deep in the water to not flip over a freaking die during huge waves. This shit was seriously thought out people!!!! The navigation system was gonna be in the bed of the truck during the ocean travels, then back to regular inside when not “under way” It was a sweet ass idea but I guess people don’t want “good” TV….jerks! I lived on the ocean for a few years, matter a fact I’ll included a picture of my old home.
This has been sorta really fun, I see why people do this now. Better than typing away on a cheap dating web sight and thinking I got a hot lady on the other end just to get a dick pic a few days later as though if I’m gonna be like ” oh well I was straight but now I see you have a big ol’ root on ya why I’m gay now” na doesn’t work like that. I got a pretty clear “non tranny” dating policy, they are pretty good little dancers in a pinch but na, no thanks. If your read to the very end of this….you’re wicked awesome!!!! thanks, God love ya!!